I accidentally had phone sex last night
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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