I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
