everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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