I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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