we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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