He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
