maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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