im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
