FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We had sex on a dog bed..
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Randomize
