apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Hippo gnu deer
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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