I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
