I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i will never coherently bang her
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Are we still banned from the library?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize
