Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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