I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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