I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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