I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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