I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
