I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize
