At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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