Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Randomize
