im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
