I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
