Midget sex pt 2 tonight
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
