God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
