Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
