she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize