I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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