I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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