11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
wow bdsm is so cute
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize