help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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