i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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