p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
