You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
