im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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