i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
