Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
