I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize