this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
