I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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