just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
wow bdsm is so cute
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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