can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm like, not good at living.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize