Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
