so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
