It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Randomize
