Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
