Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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