in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
