your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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