Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
