we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
