Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
