shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Can I color on your dick again?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
