she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
