My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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