the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
