ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
