After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
