i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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