i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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