u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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