I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
