its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
