This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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