my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize