Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
