She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
