if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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